Ego Perspective
Conversation between a six-year-old and a five-year-old:
“Are you in Linda’s room at school?”
“No, I’m not. But she’s in my room!”
Real Consolation
A woman was heartbroken when her dog disappeared. She put an ad in the paper offering a reward for its return. The next morning the phone rang. It was the voice of a woman: “I’m calling about your dog.” Then she began to cough. She explained she wasn’t feeling too well. In fact, she hadn’t felt well for three years since her husband had died. She went on to say that after her mother and father had passed away, that recently her sister had contracted cancer and was undergoing painful treatments. Her friends weren’t doing well, either. She gave details of their various illnesses and went on to describe the funerals of several of them. After thirty minutes of this, the woman who had lost the dog tried to get the caller back on the subject. She asked, “But what about my dog?” The other woman replied, “Oh, I don’t have him, but I thought you might be feeling badly about losing it, so I thought I’d just call to cheer you up!” –Charles Krieg
Arrows Off Course
Soren Kierkegaard, in an essay on humility, suggests that we conceive of an arrow racing on its course when suddenly it halts in its flight, perhaps in order to see how far it has come or how high it has soared above the earth or how its speed compares to that of another arrow (or to see and admire the gracefulness with which it flies); at that very moment it falls to the ground. So, the philosopher insists, self-preoccupation is always dangerous and self-destructive.
Strong Self-image
“What is your opinion of my painting?” “It isn’t worth anything.” “I know—but I’d like to hear it anyway.”
No Rivals
He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals. –Benjamin Franklin
Harsh Reality
A man said to the Universe: “Sir, I exist.” “However,” replied the Universe, “that fact has not created in me a sense of obligation.”
Forgetting Others
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live. It is asking others to live as one wishes to live. –Oscar Wilde
Good Manners
Even folks with bad manners know how to be polite to those who can do something for them.
Strategic Spot
An admirer once asked Leonard Bernstein, celebrated orchestra conductor, what was the hardest instrument to play. He replied without hesitation: “Second fiddle. I can always get plenty of first violinists, but to find one who plays second violin with as much enthusiasm or second French horn or second flute, now that’s a problem. And yet if no one plays second, we have no harmony.”
Star of the Show
One of Teddy Roosevelt’s children said of him: “Father always wanted to be the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral.”
Irksome Others
All discourses but my own afflict me; they seem harsh, impertinent, and irksome. –Ben Johnson
Coping with Others
Coping with difficult people is always a problem, particularly if the difficult person happens to be oneself. –Ashleigh Brilliant
Neighborhood Renewal
A woman lived in a big city neighborhood that was going downhill very fast. The area was becoming increasingly overcrowded, noisy, and dirty. It was a bad situation. The woman decided something would have to be done about it. She knew that money would be required to change the situation. Consequently, she started a fund-raising drive. She called people. She sent letters. She got some financial support from a private foundation. She finally raised eighty-five thousand dollars and then she used the money to move to another neighborhood.
Turnabout
A cold wind was howling and a chilling rain was beating down when the telephone rang in the home of a doctor. The caller said that his wife needed urgent medical attention. The doctor was understanding, “I’ll be glad to come, but my car is being repaired,” he said. “Could you come and get me?” There was indignation at the other end of the phone as an angry voice sputtered, “What, in this weather?”
People of the Lie
Utterly dedicated to preserving their self-image of perfection, they are unceasingly engaged in the effort to maintain the appearance of moral purity. They worry about this a great deal. They are acutely sensitive to social norms and what others might think of the,. They dress well, go to work on time, pay their taxes, and outwardly seem to live lives that are above reproach.
The words “image,” “appearance,” and “outwardly” are crucial to understanding the morality of the evil. While they seem to lack any motivation to be good, they intensely desire to appear good. Their “goodness” is all on a level of pretense. It is, in effect, a lie. That is why they are the “people of the lie.”
Actually, the lie is designed not so much to deceive others as to deceive themselves. They cannot or will not tolerate the pain of self-reproach. –M. Scott Peck
Affirmation
Everyone need recognition for his accomplishments, but it is possible to carry the need too far. Such people are like the little boy who says to his father: “Let’s play darts. I’ll throw and you say ‘Wonderful.’”
Importance Is Relative
George had a friend with an inflated opinion of himself. As a friend should, George decided to help his friend lose this quirk. Subtly, George mentioned that he knew Johnny Carson. The friend said, “Oh, yeah, prove it.” In a few minutes, they were in front of a large house near the beach. After knocking, out came Johnny Carson saying, “Come on in, George, and bring your friend.” On the way home, the friend grudgingly said, “OK, so you know Johnny Carson.”
Obviously, this was not enough, so George said offhandedly, “Yes, he and I and the president are well-acquainted.” The friend looked in the air, at nothing, and cried out, “That’s too much. I’ll pay the costs—let’s go to DC and see.” At the White House, they just arrived, and out came the president to greet them, saying, “Come on in, George, and bring your friend.” Later George’s friend looked around sheepishly and admitted, “Well, yeah, you do know the president.”
George sensed his friend needed further deflation. So casually he remarked, “Yeah, but you know the pope has a nicer office.” “What!” yelled his wide-eyed friend. “You know the pope! I’ll bet you ten thousand dollars you can’t even get in to see the pope.” In a few days, they were in Rome, with George knocking on a door to the Vatican. A cardinal came out extending his hand to George, but saying, “Your friend will have to stay outside!” About an hour went by, when out came the pope onto the balcony, waving at the crowd, with one arm around George. Later, outside, George looked around for his friend and found him out cold in the courtyard. George rushed over and helped his friend up and apologized for shocking him so. But his friend simply shook his head and mumbled, “It’s not that you knew the pope. It was the crowd! They kept asking each other, ‘Who’s the guy with George?’”
With Friends Like That
Two friends were camping out in the woods. They woke up the first morning and were standing by their tent having their first cup of coffee for the day when they suddenly spotted a grizzly bear heading for them at full speed. Quickly, the one man reached down and grabbed his tennis shoes and started putting them on. The other man looked at him and said, “What are you doing? Do you think you can outrun that grizzly bear?” And the first man said, “No, and I don’t need to. All I need to do is outrun you!”