Filling In
The bigger a man’s head gets, the easier it is to fill his shoes.
Silly Goose
Every goose is certain she could lay golden eggs if only properly fed.
Keeping Up with the Joneses
Two wellborn and blueblooded dogs were walking daintily along the street with their noses held high in the air. Along came a big alley dog of the Heinz 57 Varieties type. Embarrassed at being in the company of such a no-account dog, one of the lady dogs said, “We must go. My name is Miji, spelled M-I-J-I.” The other blueblood said, “My name is Miki, spelled M-I-K-I.” The low-class alley dog put his nose up in the air and said, “My name is Fido—spelled P-H-Y-D-E-A-U-X.”
Tough Initiation
Two Texans were trying to impress each other with the size of their ranches. One asked the other, “What’s the name of your ranch?” He replied, “The Rocking R, ABC, Flying W, Circle C, Bar U, Staple Four, Box D, Rolling M, Rainbow’s End, Silver Spur Ranch.” The questioner was much impressed and exclaimed, “Whew! That’s sure some name! How many head of cattle do you run?” The rancher answered, “Not many. Very few survive the branding.”
Compliments Unfinished
The only things wrong about getting an unexpected compliment is the nagging suspicion that they have not said quite enough.
Head Swelling
I once heard a missionary tell how he was trying to do translation work in a particular tribe and found it hard to translate the word pride or at least the concept. He finally came to the idea to use their word or words for the ears being too far apart. In other words, he conveyed the idea of an “inflated head” which is probably hard to improve on when we talk of the problem of pride.
Self and Egocentricity
A newly elected politician was visiting Washington, DC to get acquainted. He was visiting in the home of one of the ranking senators who was trying to interpret the bizarre wonder of the capitol. As they stood looking out over the Potomac River, an old deteriorating log floated by in view on the river. The old-timer said, “This city is like that log out there.” The fledgling politician asked, “How’s that?” The senator came back, “Well, there are probably more than one hundred thousand grubs, ants, bugs, and critters on that old log as it floats down the river. And I imagine every one of them thinks that he’s steering it.”
Father and Prayer
Father expected a good deal of God. He didn’t actually accuse God of inefficiency, but when he prayed, his tone was lucid and angry, like that of a dissatisfied guest in a carelessly managed hotel. –Clarence Day