Government rarely does something for you unless it does something to you.
It takes a certain kind of mind to be in politics—a small one.
Elections may be more successful if we choose the candidates according to what they won’t stand for instead of what they will stand for.
A jury consists of twelve people chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Politicians are the same everywhere—they promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
What this country needs is a man who can be right and president at the same time.
To make his speeches bear fruit, the smart politician will prune them a little.
A whale’s tongue is found to contain eight percent of the oil in its system. Among politicians the proportion is even heavier.
One of the things we have to be thankful for is that we don’t get as much government as we pay for.
Whatever makes good Christians makes them good citizens.
There is only one fact a politician needs to know: most people have very short memories.
Some members of Congress should have their mouths taped instead of their speeches.
When a politician makes the dirt fly, he’s probably throwing it.
The Congress is a body of government that does not solve problems—it just investigates them.
The public business of their nation is the private business of every citizen.
Some of the best jokes are heard in just listening to the government and some of their decisions.
Remember that government of the people will be government for the people as long as there is government by the people.
Nothing is politically right that is morally wrong.
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
People were satisfied with their walk in life until politicians began to offer them a free ride.
A politician is an operator who takes money from the rich, votes from the poor, and then promises both sides protection from each other.
A lame duck—a politician whose goose has been cooked.
The more you listen to political speeches, the more you realize that ours is, indeed, a land of promise.
Old politicians never die—they just run once too often.
Welfare rolls are made up from our dough.
The government should be glad the public has what it takes.
Sign at recruiting station: We honor all draft cards.
What our country needs is not more liberty but fewer people who take liberties with our liberty.
America is not only a melting pot—sometimes it is a pressure cooker.
Political speeches are like the horns on a steer—a point here and there, with a lot of bull in between.
Politicians should be good in geometry—they know all the angles and talk in circles.
We need more watchdogs at the United States Treasury and fewer bloodhounds at the Internal Revenue Service.
Voters distrust politicians too much in general and too little in particular.
A politician is a person who approaches every problem with an open mouth.
Two things for successful political campaigns: hot issues and cold cash.
Many bureaucrats are like guns without triggers—they don’t work and can’t be fired.
Too many Americans believe it’s easier to vote for something than to work for it.
A diplomat is anyone who thinks twice before saying nothing.
Judges are getting tougher with criminals—they’re giving them longer suspended sentences.
It is said that politicians are more concerned with deals than ideals.
The main reason the government fights organized crime is because it resents the competition.
Some people take the money and run; politicians run and then take the money.