Facing Forgiveness

Introduction

We need to learn how to forgive and reconcile broken relationships. We need to know that it is possible, if we swallow pride. We also need to put faces on forgiveness.

In Chapter 31, God commanded Jacob to return home. It seemed to be a good idea to Jacob, since his relations with his father-in-law were getting worse. However, the closer Jacob got home, the more fearful he became of Esau, whom he cheated and who promised to kill him on sight. Jacob wrestled with God’s command and tried to find another way, but God would not relent: Jacob had to return home and be reconciled to his brother, Esau.

Thesis: We are to confess our sins and make restitution to those we wronged.

Why do we resist reconciling broken relationships?

The Bible identifies a possible reason why we resist reconciliation, that is, to face one we have wronged is “like seeing the face of God.”

We See the Face of God in Those We Have Wronged

A. Exegesis, vv. 1-3

1. Jacob had dreaded this day–facing Esau, whom he had cheated twice.
2. Jacob humbled himself as he approached Esau.
3. Esau was Jacob’s judge, for Esau, made in the image of God, reminded Jacob of his sinfulness.

B. Illustration

One afternoon a boy went to his father. “Daddy,” the boy said, “I disobeyed you by playing ball in the street, and I busted a streetlamp.”

The father responded, “I forgive you, son. But I will have to take away your allowance until you have paid for the streetlamp.”

Surprised, the boy responded, “I thought forgiveness meant you didn’t have to pay for the wrong!”

C. Application

1. The consequences of sin and broken relationships are costly.
2. Whenever we sin against another person, we have sinned against God.
3. Our sinfulness is terrifying when we realize that we live before a holy God.

We See the Face of God in the Wrath of Those We Wronged

A. Exegesis, chapter 27:41

1. When Jacob cheated Esau of his blessing, Esau was enraged.
2. Esau planned his revenge against Jacob.
3. Jacob cheated Esau of revenge, until now. The day of wrath has come for Jacob.

B. Illustration

The cafeteria at Asbury Theological Seminary in Wilmore, Kentucky, had the following sign over a bowl of apples: “Take only one apple. God is watching you.”

On down the line in the dessert section was a plate of cookies. It had another hastily scrawled sign: “Take as many cookies as you want. God is back watching the apples!”

Many people live as if God is not watching them. But we need to be aware of what Christ said about this matter: “I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken,” Matthew 12:36.

C. Application

1. When we resist reconciliation, we continue to live in sin and under God’s condemnation.
2. Our view of God is determined by our relationships with others.

We See the Face of God in the Forgiveness of Those We Wronged

A. Exegesis, vv. 4 & 9

1. God had already been at work in Esau.
2. Esau forgave Jacob and welcomed him home.
3. Jacob made restitution: “accept this gift from me,” v. 10.
   • a. Literally, “take this blessing that rightfully belongs to you from me.”
   • b. If Esau refused, then it would have indicated that Esau had not forgiven Jacob.
   • c. God had blessed Jacob and God would give him all he needed; therefore, he did not need to keep Esau’s blessing.

B. Illustration

There was a little girl whose parents had had a miserable marriage and were divorced, having nothing in common except their love for the child. One day as the girl was playing in the street, she was knocked down by a bus and seriously injured. Taken to the hospital, she was examined by the doctors; she was beyond medical aid. Hastily summoned to the hospital, her parents heard the bad news and stood silently, one on either side of the bed, looking down helplessly at the little girl. As they stood there, the child’s eyes suddenly opened and seeing her parents, she tried to smile. Then drawing one arm from under the sheet, she held it out in the direction of her father. “Daddy,” she said, “give me your hand.” Turning to her mother, she stretched out her other arm. “Mommy,” she said, “give me your hand.” Then with a final effort of her fast-ebbing strength, she drew them close together. This is a picture of what Christ did on the cross. The Savior took the hand of sinful, hateful humanity and placed it in the loving hand of God. Jesus reconciled us to God; He broke down the barrier; He restored the broken fellowship caused by sin or turning our backs on God. Not only that, but Jesus also takes our sinful hands and stretches them out to those whom we wronged. It is the face of Jesus, the face of God that we see in reconciled relationships.

C. Application

1. James 5:16 “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” Confess your sin to the one you wronged.
2. True Christians will forgive. Dr. DeHaan, founder of the Radio Bible Class said, “You can’t judge the spirituality of a Christian on the basis of his prayers, since praying is often done for its effect on the listeners. Nor can you gauge a person’s spiritual status by the loudness of his “amens” and “hallelujahs.” Even the liberality of one’s giving is not an infallible test. It, too, may be done for personal recognition or to ease one’s conscience. I’m convinced that the surest test of the depth of our relationship with God is found in our willingness to forgive others.” Showing this attitude through acts of kindness for those who have offended us often erases all feelings of bitterness in their hearts.
3. Jesus said that if we do not forgive men their sins, Your Heavenly Father will not forgive your sins.
4. When we sin, we see the hurt we’ve caused others and God; and we see the just punishment that is ours from God; but when we confess and make restitution, we see God’s grace forgiving us.

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