The Business of Friendship
The main business of friendship is to sustain and make bearable each other’s burdens. We may do more of that as friends than we do anything else. –Eugene Kennedy
The Depth of Friendship
One could not but be moved by the story of the soldier who asked his officer if he might go out into the “No Man’s Land” between the trenches in World War I to bring in one of his comrades who lay grievously wounded. “You can go,” said the officer, “but it’s not worth it. Your friend is probably killed, and you will throw your own life away.” But the man went. Somehow he managed to get to his friend, hoist him onto his shoulder, and bring him back to the trenches. The two of them tumbled in together and lay in the trench bottom. The officer looked very tenderly on the would-be rescuer, and then he said, “I told you it wouldn’t be worth it. Your friend is dead and you are mortally wounded.” “It was worth it, though, sir,” he said. “How do you mean, ‘worth it’? I tell you your friend is dead.” “Yes, sir,” the boy answered, “but it was worth it, because when I got to him he was still alive, and he said to me, ‘Jim, I knew you’d come.’”
Deep Rejection
A few years back Pepper Rodgers was in the middle of a terrible season as football coach at UCLA. It even got so bad that it upset his home life. He recalls, “My dog was my only friend. I told my wife that a man needs at least two friends and she bought me another dog.”
Peace Together
Ah, the beauty of being at peace with another, neither having to weigh thoughts or measure words, but spilling them out just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. –Arab Proverb
False Friends
False friends are like a shadow, keeping close to us while we walk in the sunshine, but leaving us when we cross into the shade. –Christian Bovee
Bitter Definition
A true friend always stabs you in the front. –Oscar Wilde
Damaged Memory
Lending money to a friend is dangerous—it could damage his memory.
Confidentiality
Cheri, a first grader, was having trouble adjusting to school. I called her into my office for a chat, confident that my many years of training as a guidance counselor had more than prepared me to handle the situation. “Cheri,” I said, “I want to be your friend. I will never tell your mommy or your daddy or your teacher anything we talk about if you don’t want me to. I want you to know that you can always trust me.” With tearful eyes, she looked up and replied, “Gee, Mrs. Edwards, you’re just like my dog.”
The Gift of Encouraging Words
A great place to glean some profound insights into life is from children’s stories. On a Winnie the Pooh record, for instance, there is a scene that is a delightful illustration of our desire to hear words that are friendly and warm, rather than harsh or hard:
One day, Pooh Bear is about to go for a walk in the Hundred Acre wood. It’s about 11:30 in the morning. It is a fine time to go calling—just before lunch. So Pooh sets out across the stream, stepping on the stones, and when he gets right in the middle of the stream, he sits down on a warm stone and thinks about just where would be the best place of all to make a call. He says to himself, “I think I’ll go see Tigger.” No, he dismissed that. Then he says, “Owl!” Then, “No, Owl uses big words, hard-to-understand words.” At last he brightens up! “I know! I think I’ll go see Rabbit. I like Rabbit. Rabbit uses encouraging words like, ‘How’s about lunch?’ and ‘Help yourself, Pooh!’ Yes, I think I’ll go see Rabbit.”
Truth That May Hurt
When a stranger identifies you from a friend’s description, it’s best that you don’t hear the description.
The Transforming Power of Friendship
As a part of an assignment for a doctoral thesis, a college student spent a year with a group of Navajo Indians on a reservation in the Southwest. As he did his research, he lived with one family, sleeping in their hut, eating their food, working with them, and generally living the life of a twentieth-century Indian. The old grandmother of the family spoke no English at all, yet a very close friendship formed between the two. They spent a great deal of time sharing a friendship that was meaningful to each, yet unexplainable to anyone else. In spite of the language difference, they shared the common language of love and understood each other. Over the months, he learned a few phrases of Navajo, and she picked up a little of the English language. When it was time for him to return to the campus and write his thesis, the tribe held a going-away celebration. It was marked by sadness since the young man had become close to the whole village and all would miss him. As he prepared to get up into the pickup truck and leave, the old grandmother came to tell him good-bye. With tears streaming from her eyes, she placed her hands on either side of his face, looked directly into his eyes and said, “I like me best when I’m with you.” Isn’t that the way we feel in the presence of Jesus? He brings out the best in us. We learn to see ourselves as worthy and valuable when we are in His presence. The hurts, the cares, the disappointments of our lives are behind us when we look in His eyes and realize the depth of His love. Our self-esteem no longer depends on what we have done or failed to do; it depends only on the value that He places on us. To be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ is to generate in other people the Indian grandmother’s simple statement: “I like me best when I’m with you.”
A Wise Strategy for Life
When we bought our new television set, the neighbors gathered one Saturday to help us put up the antenna. Since we had only the simplest tools, we weren’t making much progress, until a man who was new on the block appeared with an elaborate tool box, with everything we needed to get the antenna up in record time. As we stood around congratulating ourselves on this piece of good luck, we asked our new neighbor what he made with such fancy tools. Looking at us all, he smiled and answered, “Friends, mostly.”
The Other Guy
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you. –Dale Carnegie
Only Temporary
Real friends are those who, when you make a fool of yourself, don’t think you’ve done a permanent job.
How to Win Friends
The whole art of pleasing lies in never speaking of oneself, always persuading others to speak of themselves. Everyone knows this and everyone forgets it. –Edmond and Jules Goncourt