Going with the Flow
The winds and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators. –Edward Gibbon
Booker T’s Flexibility
Booker T. Washington arrived in a city to make a speech. His train was late and he was in a hurry. He dashed out of the station to the cabstand, but the cabby growled, “I don’t drive niggers.” Washington said, “All right, I’ll drive you. Get in the back.”
Flexible Plan
A man stopped to chat with a farmer who was erecting a new building. He asked, “What are you putting up?” The farmer replied, “Well, if I can rent it, it’s a rustic cottage. If I can’t, it’s a cow shed.”
Mr. Vanderbilt and Mr. Gould
Cornelius Vanderbilt, who controlled the New York Central, regarded Jay Gould, who headed the lesser Erie Railroad, as an upstart. At one time, he made an attempt to force Gould out of the railroad business. This was during the period when cattle from the West were shipped to Buffalo, then reshipped over one of these two lines to New York City. The prevailing rate for a carload was $100. Vanderbilt cut the price to $75. As anticipated, Gould reduced it to $50. Vanderbilt went to $25. Gould made it $10.
Determined to prevail, Vanderbilt slashed the price to $1 a carload. That was enough for Gould. He refused to meet this last price, and the business went to the New York Central. Although it had been expensive, Vanderbilt felt that it had been worth it to bring Gould to his knees.
But his triumph was short-lived. After a few weeks had passed, he learned that Gould had bought all the cattle coming into Buffalo and had shipped them to New York City via the Central at $1 a carload, cleaning up a fortune at Vanderbilt’s expense. The price went back to $100.
Adjusting Your Goals to Reality
One bitterly cold winter night a young man plodded through knee-high snow to the home of the girl he had been dating regularly. Tonight was the night. He asked her to marry him. Being very practical, the young woman replied, “When you have several thousand dollars, I will seriously consider it.”
Six months later, the two strolled hand in hand through a park along the river. He stopped to kiss her and asked, “When are we going to get married?”
She inquired, “Well, you remember my condition. Just how much money have you saved?”
He responded, “Exactly seventy-five dollars.”
She sighed and smiled, “Oh, well, I guess that’s close enough!”
Plan B
I have a very fine doctor. If you can’t afford the operation, he touches up the X-rays. –Henny Youngman
Altering to Fit the Sure Realities
There was an officer in the navy who had always dreamed of commanding a battleship. He finally achieved that dream and was given commission of the newest and proudest ship in the fleet. One stormy night, as the ship plowed through the seas, the captain was on duty on the bridge when off to the port he spotted a strange light rapidly closing with his own vessel. Immediately, he ordered the signalman to flash the message to the unidentified craft, “Alter your course ten degrees to the south.” Only a moment had passed before the reply came: “Alter your course ten degrees to the north.” Determined that his ship would not take a backseat to the other vessel, the captain snapped out the order to be sent: “Alter course ten degrees—I am the CAPTAIN!” The response beamed back, “Alter your course ten degrees—I am Seaman Third Class Jones.” Now infuriated, the captain grabbed the signal light with his own hands and fired off: “Alter course, I am a battleship.” The reply came back. “Alter your course, I am a lighthouse.”
No matter how big or important any of us think we are, God’s Word stands forth as an unchanging beacon. All other courses must be altered to His.
The Culturally Polite Facade
A wonderful Chinese meal was set out for us on a small table under the trees. The food was covered by big blue flies, which the Chinese kept swatting away. Finally, we sat down in Chinese fashion, with the wife of the host serving us. We were just three missionaries with the Chinese host, who was the only man. By this time we were well used to chopsticks, rice, sweet and sour pork, and fish. At this table, there was a huge codfish complete with head and big eyes.
We were able to enjoy the conversation. For some unknown reason, I happened to be seated next to the host. Suddenly he used his own chopsticks to place in my bowl of rice the greatest delicacy of the feast; namely, one of that cod’s huge eyes! He smiled, thinking how honored I would feel. Honored! Looking longingly at the chickens feeding underneath the table, I smiled at my host and I looked at Miss McQueen and knew what I had to do. I thanked God I possessed a large throat—one swallow and it was over. Never again did I have such a “treat,” for this delicacy belonged to that region only! A true missionary always eats what is put before her like the Chinese; she is supposed to “become Chinese.” God helped me to keep down that ugly cod’s eye. –Wetherell Johnson